The common reason relationships end. No one wants to communicate their feelings anymore. They say nothing and hope for the best. I’ll admit, sometimes I do this…I know sometimes that speaking my mind will end up leading to a fight over something so trivial; and I want to avoid that fight altogether. But sometimes you just have to face it head on.
Just a FYI, this is my post just to vent and maybe later, like tomorrow or next week I’ll actually deal with my problems IRL.
My fiancée IS NOT a morning person at all. I’ve gotten used to the fact that we don’t speak to each other in the morning at all. 9 years together, and that hasn’t changed. But now, when we drive home together…since we share a car right now. I want someone to talk to about my day; and when I talk to him…CRICKETS! I might as well be having a conversation with myself.
So when I prod him to talk since he won’t respond when I speak, apparently what I’m saying isn’t interesting enough to keep him engaged or keep him from staring at his phone. He gets all huffy and puffy and says this: “I just got off work, I’m not talking!”
I WAS SO PISSED! But that wasn’t even the worst part. It makes me feel like my words have absolutely no merit. I want my significant other TO WANT to talk about me and hear about my day and talk about the news.
Then not even 5 minutes later; he says: “I want to volunteer.” I was fuming inside by this moment, I mumbled “yeah” underneath my breath. Then he says; “Did you not hear me?” I wanted to SCREAM! So he doesn’t have to respond when I speak, but I have to hold a conversation with someone who just told me he just got off work and didn’t want to talk. I’m totally confused. I just huffed; and I was like “YEAH!” I never wanted to be one of those people. But here I am, being extremely passive aggressive. So I talk a deep breath; “Doing what?” I ask. He tells me he wants to do like habitat for humanity or something along those lines. I just don’t have the energy to get in another fight at this point. So I just let it slide. The rest of the ride home, I just keep it clipped and give one word answers because I know I won’t make it long if I try to hold an actual conversation.
So here’s the real dilemma…
Knowing that he doesn’t like to talk in the morning, we don’t speak during the day really because we both have demanding jobs that keep us busy all day and he never really takes a lunch break. So now, really no conversations in the morning, we don’t speak during the day and NOW he doesn’t want to talk because he just got off work. When are we supposed to communicate? This is the dilemma. I know I need to broach the subject. But it just seems like so much work for what I know is going to turn into a fight anyways.
Any suggestions? Strip truth or dare? But no dares…just truth? A friend gave me that suggestion. Anything more subtle?